I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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