what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
