He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
