Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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