Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
