i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
