Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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