We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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