I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
