Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
