Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
