Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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