Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
