In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
