Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So much rum. So many feels.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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