So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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