I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
