theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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