I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
