This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
