you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
