Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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