you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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