spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
