haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
