party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
