the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
