Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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