I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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