I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
