Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need moral support for this bender
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
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