i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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