Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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