Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm eating all of the evidence.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
