Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
