I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
