At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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