The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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