so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
