i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
