i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
