woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
