I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
