Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
