North Korea, Best Korea!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
