508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
