Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
