so that wasnt chicken after all
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
