doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
