Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cannot find my penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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