Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We smell like vodka and hangover
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