Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
